Being happy is all that matters

Donut Polices

2011-01-20T19:04:00.000+08:00

After work drinks with my favorite classmates!!

Doesn't mean those who aren't in this picture aren't my favorite classmate or that i don't like you or whatsoever la, okay?!

Oh... and i cut my hair REAL short back in December. just a few days before the New Year's countdown. ever since then i've been having bad hair day like every.single.day. can't wait to grow my hair back to it's initial length. i'm pretty sure it's gonna be a longgggg wait. FML!!! =(

Master Lynn Yap's Predictions for 2011‏

2011-01-17T18:28:00.007+08:00

HORSE - Average year
There are 4 good stars and 4 bad stars

This is an average year for you so just make the most of it and all will be well. Work may be troublesome but help is around.

Horse person has a tendency to keep some things to themselves. This year, you have to be careful of being cheated by people hence watch your money very carefully. (#%$*&#@%@#@&$%&#$!!!) Do not find fault with others (HAHAHAHAHA!).

Money & Work:
There is some money luck for you. However do be careful if you wish to gamble.
Be careful when signing documents in case of fraud.
Try to cultivate your wisdom (oh, so those born in the year of the Horse are not very smart?!) so that you are able to handle any problems that come your way.

Health:
Your health luck is not good this year. If there are any problems with health, better to get them treated fast than wait.
If you drive, do be careful.

Love & family:
If married, care should be taken on extra unwanted romance outside a marriage as relationship with spouse is not very loving this year.
If single, be careful you may lose money or spend too much money on your loved one. Be careful of being conned by the opposite sex (ROFLMAO!!! #&@#%!@&#%$@#!!).

I'm Not Missing In Action!

2011-01-15T22:44:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not logging into my social networks often enough, for not going on messenger for the longest time, for taking way too long to reply to SMS(es)...

I know, i know! so many of my friends are getting really impatient from all the waiting but i swear none of the above was done on purpose. okay... maybe except for not logging into messenger, that one is done on purpose. but everything else is not!!

I can never seem to feel my phone's vibrations when it's in my handbag. plus it's 24/7 on silent mode. sometimes it just slips my mind to check my phone and when i finally think of it, i have 5284712 missed calls and texts =.=
i'm so very sorry! *gives ke lian face*

I've been really busy with work and my final project lately, i try to make the best out of my free time either by heading out with my friends for a few drinks or catching up on sleep. explains why i haven't been updating my blog!

I do try to log into Facebook & Twitter as much as possible, but they're so boring.

Close friends and families will be kept updated. if you're not one of them then that's just too bad!

Life as we know it.

2011-01-05T18:04:00.000+08:00

Life is made up of a series of events. good or bad depends on an individual person's perception.

I believe that one cannot have too much good nor bad in their life. it has nothing to do with karma or luck. you will eventually run out of luck and you will eventually use up the amount of "goods you've done in your past lives".

I wouldn't say 2010 had been a great year. but it definitely was a challenging and fruitful one. there was a balance between the goods and bads in life. achievements of a few personal goals. overcoming obstacles i never would have thought i would be able to. in short, 2010 had made me a more confident person.

Change is here, hard times are over... 2011 will be a blast.

I can has new jewelry?

2011-01-02T00:55:00.012+08:00

I've never been a big fan of any cartoon characters except for Tweety Bird. but when i saw the Disney Cuties series by SK Jewelry, i just couldn't take my eyes off these jeweleries!!

Here's a few pendants i like:

Last but not least:

i'm more of a bracelet than necklace person cos i always feel that my hair would get tangled around the necklace and cause a mess.

The necklaces are pretty affordable at only less than $180 each (depending on the design). I WANT!!

Wealthy, are you?

2010-12-24T02:23:00.003+08:00

You aren't wealthy until you own something money can't buy

Agggain?!!

2010-12-22T10:38:00.011+08:00

Each time i see a gorgeous dress, it's like falling in love all over again... not kidding!!

In case you don't know yet, ASOS has been having free worldwide shipping for the longest time. i finally succumbed to temptations last night, when the price for this particular dress i've been eyeing was further reduced by 50% from £38.00 to £19.00 it also happened to be the last piece in Red!

What i bought:

Ponte Exaggerated Shoulder Dress

i don't care if i already have 937562841830 dresses in my wardrobe! i need just ONE more formal office wear so that i can have more options. so that i can switch between a few more dresses from Monday to Friday. plus, i can also wear this on Chinese New Year!

Someone just kill me, or take away my card, or throw my desktop away... because right now, another dress i've been eyeing is also on discount!!! i think i might place another order tonight.

Since i'm already at it, here's another dress i really like but is way off my budget!! =(

Motel Bandeau Swing Dress, £35.00

Santa, grant me my wish... pleaseeeee?!

A formspring reply

2010-12-19T17:28:00.001+08:00

"Happiness is a choice you have to make for yourself."

- DaphneMaia

Facebook messages

2010-12-18T17:50:00.004+08:00

(Click for larger view)

I am not interested in young boys!!!

By TheLuckiestChick

2010-12-17T03:03:00.000+08:00

不要拿坏人的过错去惩罚好人，下一个人会更爱你更尊重你，所以你也要放开胸怀好好去爱。
Loosely translated: "Just because someone bad did something to you,
you should not punish someone good who might come into your life,
the next person will love and respect you more, so you should
open up your heart to love the next person just as much as the first."

Because you're special

2010-12-12T02:25:00.005+08:00

Extraordinary things only happen to extraordinary people.

Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader

Nay? No, It's Yayness!

2010-12-10T15:34:00.013+08:00

I started off this post feeling really down and disappointed with myself. particularly because i felt like i had screwed up my 2nd interview with the recruiting company this morning. i was feeling so dejected at the thought of having to go through the whole job hunting process again. mass emailing resumes and filling in of application forms are such demoralizing things to do!

I had barely started out on this post when my thoughts got interrupted by a phone call from the recruitment agency. my recruitment consultant who'd been guiding me through from my very first interview, had brought me good news. extremely good news to be exact.

I could barely retain the joy and excitement over the phone. it's so crazy to have to go through such huge emotional changes within a few seconds!!

Not only was i offered the contract, i was also offered an amount higher than what i have been asking for. their remuneration package is pretty attractive, or at least to me! but of course that's not the only reason... i've also been hoping to get some exposure to MNCs so hopefully one day if i do move on to another company, i can be assured that with prior experience it wouldn't be that tough for me to get into another MNC. i've had enough of Singapore's SMEs culture!

But of course, life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. i'll be solely and wholly in charge of the workers' payroll. working with no proper payroll system will definitely be a big challenge for someone who is mathematically challenged and has only handled staffs' payroll with the help of a proper payroll system. not forgetting, the risks of signing a contract. what if i don't like their working culture? what if i'm not up to the job? what if, what ifs...

Before this, i really couldn't decide whether or not this is the right job for me... or whether or not i'll be up to it. i told myself that if i don't get this job, it's a sign that this isn't the one for me and i will be a step closer to a better offer. but if i do get this job, it could be a stepping stone, a learning experience, a sign, something, anything... from the one above.
if it turns out to be a really awful employment, too bad for me, i'll just have to bear with it for a year. my previous employment was a disaster but i had managed to pulled through it for a year, what could be worse, right?

Now, with the career woes all settled, it's time to focus on my last 2 modular exams! sadly, no holidays for me as it's back to the working society straight after my exams. boo...

Japanese potato salad

2010-12-05T00:54:00.005+08:00

Made some Japanese style potato salad a few months back for a potluck style picnic with my classmates. it was my first attempt at it and it turned out to be... edible! i'm truly amazed.

Pictures taken by my sis while i was busy cooking, shows how much she loves them potato salad.

I personally found them to be only average, nothing really special (not trying to be humble here). but my siblings and friends kept singing praises about how good it is even till today. especially my sister, she complained about how biased i am towards my friends. that i am willing to go through all these hassle for them but not for her. see, now i'm in charge of satisfying her potato salad cravings!!

I'll be giving it a go for the second time during Christmas. hopefully it'll turn out as good as the first attempt!

A bigger you.

2010-12-04T23:11:00.003+08:00

"Don't lie to yourself - when you get involved with a person who has an addiction, you are playing with fire, and you will probably get burned."

Barbara De Angelis - Are you the one for me?

For the last time

2010-12-03T22:43:00.021+08:00

This is how i keep track of how readers are being directed to my blog.

Before anyone come blasting my phone and start maligning me for defaming them, i suggest they get their facts right first. if you've done nothing against your conscience, you've got nothing to fear.

Funny how he thinks that it's even possible for me to defame him through word of the mouth now, when i'm not even in contact with his friends. without even having to say a single word, there are random people keeping themselves updated via my blog. it could be his friends or random readers, i don't know.

The initial post about this O$P$ thing was posted 2 years back. before getting all paranoid and going around pushing blames on others, i suggest he reflect on his own actions.

HIAO!

2010-11-30T00:06:00.009+08:00

I ISH CHIOooo...
i remember saying this a few years back on Friendster and it caused quite a stir. heh... that's me in one of my ASOS dresses from their mid season sale. super sexy looking! too bad it's a little loose around the chest area. grow chest, grow!!!

Regina's suite room party at MBS.

2010-11-28T14:07:00.006+08:00

Caught the sunrise from the room's balcony =)

It all starts in the mind

2010-11-26T03:08:00.006+08:00

9 DOWN, ONLY 2 MORE TO GO!!!!!!

So it's now official, i'm left with 2 modules and 1 final project to go and i'm graduating. i'm super excited but i'm also keeping my fingers (and toes!) crossed on the last 2 modules. although i'm confident about myself, i don't wanna be over-confident.

One thing i've learn throughout the course is that, it all starts in the mind. sometimes you get skeptical, you have doubts on your own capabilities, you question your intelligence, you get lazy... unknowingly you are allowing your thoughts to take control of you and hold you back from pursuing your dreams. you have already lost the battle even before the real challenge greets you. and the only person who can make things better, is yourself, by changing your mindset.

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. ( -Henry Ford ) and this is very, very true... or at least 99.99% of the time in my case!! and i don't think it was out of sheer luck, it definitely was not.

Having a positive mindset isn't enough. can you lose weight by believing in yourself that you can, yet not work-out and continue to have all your favorite donuts, ice-creams, chips and junks? NO. i also believe that with hard work comes success. likewise if you sit in an examination hall unprepared yet believe you can pass the subject... wake up, it's never gonna happen.

So, what i'm trying to say is... your mindset is the most important asset in your life. it's the one thing that determines your future, your results and what you want in life. whatever you can do, or dream that you can, begin it. boldness has genius, power, magic in it. ( -Goethe )

I remember before i started out on this course, i had a friend who asked me, "what if you end up failing?" (or something along that line). i replied confidently and almost immediately, "i'd try again". what he asked next caught me off guards. "what if you just keep failing?" this, had never for once crossed my mind when i made up my mind to pursue my Diploma course. i don't remember being worried that i'd fail so badly that i'll never be able to complete the course. i was so persistent on getting my hands on that certificate no matter what. there's no room for failure. i was that persistent. i've made up my mind that that's what i'm gonna do and nothing's gonna get in my way. his questions made me realized something i didn't see in myself, that confidence, boldness and persistence. although he went on to question me again and i looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

Along the way, i sometimes do have doubts on my own capabilities. or sometimes, i get lazy or just wanna go out and play... but i've managed to fight all that negativity and temptations and made it this far! from a drop-out who insisted she's never gonna go back to the books, to someone who's about to complete her Diploma... seriously, if i can do it, i believe many out there would also be able to do it if they're determined enough.

As for pursuing my Degree course? *shudders* that's another story for another day.

Follow me!

2010-11-23T18:14:00.004+08:00

Been really busy lately and i can foresee even more hectic days ahead. but i'm actively tweeting on Twitter:

Smile because you can

2010-11-17T01:12:00.000+08:00

One must not lose hope even if the situation is dire

2010-11-16T20:16:00.007+08:00

Everyone made their way out for lunch and i was the only one who stayed back in class, keeping myself entertained with a rubik's cube.

The lecturer and i started talking and one thing she said really jolted me awake, "a girl like you will go far in life. God is fair, don't worry too much and stay focused..."

The conversation i had with the lecturer had definitely helped steer me back on tracks. it struck me that i was too preoccupied with the wrong things and worrying over nothing.
but the past few weeks had been really chaotic. i've been disappointed and badly hurt by the people around me. i've been losing sleep, my appetite and myself. i thought i have to be a cruel, heartless and evil person in order to be able to survive in this world. i felt like i was competing against the people who had caused me so much miseries, that i had to be a even more hurtful person than they are in order to not be affected by them.

It is not a battle against them, it's a battle i am fighting against myself. maybe there was supposed to be something for me to learn from all these happenings? to be more patient? to be more forgiving? to recognize who are the people worth keeping by my side?

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all."

Martin Luther King Jr.

Don't let others bring you down

2010-11-10T01:51:00.001+08:00

Even if you spend all your efforts to please everybody, in the end, none of that really matters. You may do everything that people want you to do, try all means and ways to please them, and then do one thing wrong and find yourself being harshly judged anyway. time is too valuable to waste it trying to please everybody.

This has really got me thinking

2010-11-09T02:54:00.000+08:00

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.
What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
When anger rises, think of the consequences.
Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?

By Confucius

Close shave

2010-11-04T19:49:00.005+08:00

This morning, with an exam to rush for and a headache from lack of sleep, the last thing i wanted was to end up in a stupid squabble.

But unlucky i was, i flagged down a Comfort cab with a crazy driver. he repeatedly asked to confirm my destination for 4 times, which by then i couldn't be bothered to reply and just nodded at him from the rear view mirror. crazy driver went on to pass rude childish remarks like "you not happy is it" "i cannot ask is it". throughout his absurd behavior, all i did was look at him from the rear view mirror, exasperated. frankly speaking, never in my whole life had i encountered such an insane driver.

What kind of service attitude is this?! i'm not asking for much, except for him to just give me some peace. we were in the middle of a traffic light junction when he started shouting and insisted i get off the cab immediately.

With no other option left, i opened the passenger side door all ready to alight with one leg out of the car when an oncoming lorry slammed into the door. frankly speaking, i admire my courage. the whole accident happened right in my face but i actually continued to make my way out as if nothing had happened. all i had in mind at that point of time was to be on time for my Accounting & Finance exam. WTF.

The whole drama which continued from thereafter is totally irrelevant. i have already lodge a complaint with Comfortdelgro and this whole incident is under investigation. it will be plain ridiculous if they decide their driver is not at fault and slap me with an insurance claim. they claim Comfort is committed to encouraging road safety behavior among cabbies, so how do they explain the behavior of this particular driver? who in the right mind would demand their passenger alight in the middle of the road.

I am lucky to still be able to sit in front of my computer now, relating the whole accident that had happened this morning. to still be able to enjoy the joys of living. to still be very alive and kicking. but first, i have to settle this case. #%$&@&#&%$!!

The ultimate decision lies with YOU

2010-10-31T12:17:00.001+08:00

Third parties were not really the reason why so many relationships are ruined. It's always between the two of you; you and your partner. If he decides to be seduced, then let him be. But always think about this: if your partner really loves you, he'll care if he cares. He won't hurt you if he doesn't want you to be hurt. No matter how beautiful the ladies passing in front of him, they'll never catch his eyes because he'll be busy looking at you. Only you

Help?!

2010-10-29T13:06:00.006+08:00

I NEED A FAVOR FROM YOU!!

yes, you. whoever that's reading. if you happen to have an extra laptop or if you feel like you can live without yours for a month... kindly loan it to me end of December for my final project. silly me had never thought that i'll actually need a proper computer for my Diploma course. so right now i'm frantically trying to grow my skin thicker to bring myself to open my mouth and ask the people around me... apparently, it isn't working! so here i am asking through my blog...

P/S drop me a mail / text / comment / message / whatever! if you are able to help.

My defences failed me

2010-10-14T20:11:00.009+08:00

A strong person is not one who doesn't cry.
A strong person is one who knows how to be quiet, shed a tear for a moment and then picks up his sword and fight again.

FAIL

2010-10-11T15:17:00.000+08:00

The Midnight Masquerade

2010-10-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

(the car was really spacious, we're just squeezing for the sake of a picture)

The party was awesome!!! that's the difference when you've got your partner to do all the planning and organizing of a series of surprises and parties. so freaking envious.

Have no idea what the designated party planner (comes along with the rental of the car) fed me that night. it was an innocent looking flammable red liquid stored in a flask, tasted really nasty by the way. my body was still burning when i woke up the next day (no, i'm not in heat!).

Think twice before joining any sprees

2010-10-05T13:33:00.004+08:00

Remember i said i was gonna join an ASOS spree to get some of their dresses and a bag?

ASOS Jacquard Envelope Clutch
OUT OF STOCK

ASOS Heart Jacquard Waisted Dress
OUT OF STOCK

Rare Floral Contrast Two-In-One Bandeau Dress
OUT OF STOCK

Rare Mesh Insert Bandeau Dress

ASOS Cotton Lace Insert Bandeau Slip Beach

(Funny how all the dresses i like are being modeled by the same model)

Well, the ~~fucking stupid~~ spree-holder actually left out my $150+ worth of orders. because i had to wait a total of 2 - 3 weeks just for the processing, from the closing of the spree, to placing of orders and the arrival of the shipment. by the time i receive news from this inefficient spree-holder, that she'd left out my orders, the items are long out of stock.

Within the span of 2 weeks, this MIA-prone spree-holder not only did not reply my emails but also took her own sweet time to re-confirm with me on whether or not she'd left out my orders. i emailed her on Tues morning, she replied promptly to say she'll get back to me over the weekend. after i pointed out that it's only the start of the week and i've had enough of waiting, she relented and promised to get back the next day. but noooo... ~~that dumb bitch~~ she took her own sweet time and got back to me only on Sun night.
i got so anxious i emailed the other spree-ers, only to find out that most of them had already collected / received their items last week!

I don't think any of you who had never experience something like this happen to them will ever understand how i feel now.
the anticipation, the hopes, the eagerness to try the dresses on, the joy of picturing myself in those pretty dresses... *curse and swear*
you don't know how tempted i was, to head down to Ang Mo Kio immediately and hunt that ~~fucking stupid~~ Shirgui down and strangle her to death with the other ugly dresses i can find at her place.

Know what, next time i'd never scrimp on shipment fees and join sprees. if i really have to, i'd rather pay for the shipment fees on my own. i've learnt my lesson.
for now, i'm not in the mood to do anymore online shopping.

~~Fuck you Shirgui, fuck you.~~

Can't ask for more with friends like these

2010-10-04T01:00:00.005+08:00

Text message from Agnes:
"People come and go in our lives. some are meant to stay, some are meant to leave... and you're definitely not one of the latter"

Friends who had been a disappointment with their cold and unappreciative behavior... thank you. without people like you, i would never have been able to recognize who are those worth keeping.

Anything just to put a smile on that face

2010-10-03T22:41:00.009+08:00

And it makes me happy when the people around me are happy =)

Surviving

2010-09-30T20:51:00.005+08:00

Through eyes filled with hatred and anger, all they see is that i've been taking the wrong side... but i take no sides.
no matter how wrong it is for a Father to budge into the personal matters of his child, he does not deserve to get continuously bashed. needless to say threatened at knife point.

Lethal words and a vicious tongue does not equate to having the capabilities to out-talk and emerge as a winner in an argument. it only adds fuel to fire, angers the one on the receiving end and causes heartache.
it wasn't that i couldn't be bothered with what was happening. nor that i'm siding my Father. but all i could think of is to solve things with minimal violence and in the most rational manner.

My Dad cares for us, in the wrong way. in the traditional way. in ways we can't accept. in ways we think is ridiculous.
but one can only be blind to actually not notice his efforts to stop or control his violent tendencies these days. how he chose not to fight back when he could have. how he could have chosen to be violent like how he used to be, but did not.

Having histories of Depression does not give one an excuse to be violent. nor one the trump card to have things their way. nor the rights to point a knife in anyone's face and threaten to stab them.

It pained my heart to see an aging old man being treated like this, needless to say my Dad. and i understand how hurtful it is to be taking a step back yet not receive any credits for the biting the bullet and putting up with their nonsense. instead, being trampled and walked all over on.
it also pained my heart to see my sister going through all these frustrations and pain. to lay her hands on someone i know she does love deep down, i know that it must also be killing her inside too.

I believe that no matter how violent a person is, they do feel remorseful towards their own actions. it's only human.

One does not have to take anyone's side in a family fight. nor get violent just because they are being violent. instead, take a breather and calm down.

I'm still surviving, not feeling even a tinge of anger or hatred towards either party... only heartaches.

The hellhole

2010-09-28T14:43:00.005+08:00

Money is the root to all problems. it brings out the evil in people, tears family apart and allows you to see the true faces of people around you.

Before they look at me and say that i'm a rich selfish bitch, who's lazy and can't be bothered enough to go get a job... they ought to look at themselves.
(i don't know how a student without a stable job can be rich, makes you wonder what is stored in their brain)

If i am selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed... i would have long ago stopped helping and giving. i would have placed myself and my plans before everyone and everything else. i would have refused to help and leave them to seek alternatives on their own.
it's never enough, nothing i do is ever enough.

The thought of having to come home, return to this place full of shit is so unbearable. no one should be having such feelings towards returning home. each time i'm nearing the doorsteps, i keep wondering if i should just ask a friend out and get away from this nasty place.

It has become so unbearable these days, the thought of wanting to move out on my own is once again at it's peak.

Thank you!!

2010-09-25T01:42:00.006+08:00

If you're planning to replace the bottle of perfume i broke a few weeks back, i'd suggest you find an alternative gift for my birthday cos my classmates had already beaten you to it!!

*sniffles sniffles* i'm so touched!! it had never cross my mind that they would wanna get it for me... i'm not such a thick skinned person okay. and i've always been such an irritating, evil and "up to no good" kind of classmate... i don't deserve this! i don't deserve having such kind and lovely classmates!! (doesn't mean i'm rejected the gift. hehehe)

As a token of appreciation, i shall make an effort to give them more of my "special attention"! i shall come up with more tricks to make them feel irritated and loved by me! =P

High tea!!

2010-09-24T00:54:00.003+08:00

I'm going for some shopping and high tea with my classmates. although i don't take coffee / tea, i'm really tempted to try some proper high tea. one with lots of scones, cakes, fruit tarts, sandwiches, pastries, cold meats. we should do a proper high tea soon, preferably buffet style

Picking the tab

2010-09-23T23:38:00.011+08:00

The other day when i was out with my ex course-mates having high tea, our topic somehow drifted to guys being a gentleman by picking up the tab. i do not expect guys to foot the bill, especially if he's just a friend. and even if he's my partner, i wouldn't expect him to foot the bill each time we're out on a date.

I'm not just talking about dates here, but also going out with friends of the opposite sex in general.

I kind of sympathize with the guys cos they feel obligated to pay when they're out with a girl even if it's not a date. or the need to impress the girls or the need to act gentlemanly. yet on the other hand, all we girls have to do is dress up, be pretty, smile a lot, shop and eat... okay, maybe not. to make things even worse, is if he's out with typical shameless bimbos who leech on guys and shows no concern towards the hole she's burning in his pockets. then again, if he asked her out or agreed to go out with her, then he pretty much asked for it!

But, i've also met a fair share of really shameless guys who are just plain stingy and leeches on me. yes, these TELL me to pay for dinners! i am independent, i've been earning my own keep for a good few years and i am okay with going dutch. but that doesn't mean i'm okay with guys leeching on me and demanding / insisting that i pick the tab. that's just ridiculous! if he had asked politely, i would consider treating him to a meal... but to insist, he's throwing all respect i had for him out of the window.

And i went on to explain how if in future i have a son, i would want him to pay for his girlfriend and pamper her... but it might be really taxing on my side too, assuming my son is still studying. (i know, i'm single and i have no intentions of getting a boyfriend yet i'm thinking of all these?!) one thing i definitely believe in is that every girl deserves to be pampered like a princess!

Name your member

2010-09-22T11:00:00.000+08:00

TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF WHAT HAPPENED AT SUBWAY. BIG BROTHER KING!!

Unappreciative friends

2010-09-21T02:04:00.007+08:00

The only reason why the behavior of certain people in my life can affect me so much is cos i've place too much importance on the friendship that we share. they've caused me so much disappointments, pain, anger and have me questioning myself on whether or not somewhere or somehow i've done or said something wrong. or maybe i didn't do enough, maybe i wasn't good enough, maybe i'm just unworthy.

I hate how some of my friends can torture me with their insensitivity so effortlessly.

Thankfully, sometimes it doesn't take long for me to bounce back up and go: "F you!! nothing's wrong with me, i don't deserve this!!!!" these worthless people in my life just happen to be in control, and i need to find a way around to regaining the upper hand. i need to get rid of them, recognize that they're not worth all the effort.

But most of the times, i'd just tell myself to bear with it and give them another chance to prove that they're not as bad a person i think they are. in cases like this, i'd end up wanting to beat myself up cos i can't decide what to do. i want to voice it out yet i can't bring myself to, i try to put up with the nonsense and end up being really upset.
sometimes, they'd asked me questions like if i'm okay and my instincts tells me that i'm supposed to say i'm fine no matter how affected i am. it's like they're asking a question they have an answer to. if the need arises for them to ask such a question, do you seriously think i'm okay? and that if i'm not, would i honestly tell them that i'm not?

I know that the only way to get things to improve is to thrash things out, tell them how i feel, tell them what's wrong. but honestly speaking, i hate to be placed in such situations. if it comes to a point where i have to tell them in their face what's wrong with them, that'll be the time i turn around and leave. if i have to be honest and harsh with them, i think it'll totally ruin the friendship and things will never be the same again.
i always, always drop hints... HUGE HINTS. i'm sure these people felt those vibes but they just refuse to take the hints and continue to push their luck.

So for now, they're staying on the "persons to ignore" list.

Impressive, NOT

2010-09-20T04:50:00.002+08:00

(click to enlarge)

Pretty pleaseeeeee?

2010-09-13T05:54:00.005+08:00

Ralph by Ralph Lauren

In case you don't know, this is my all time favorite perfume. i've been using it for about 3 - 4 years already and i've decided i'm sticking to it.

You know how sometimes when you're out and you suddenly smell a very similar scent (not fart / B.O mind you), and it immediately reminds you of someone? i want people around me to be reminded of me the moment they smell Ralph. i want it to be my signature scent.

I broke a bottle of this perfume about a week ago. sighhhh... it's the big bottle one and i had only used less than half a bottle of it. i still feel like beating myself up whenever i think of it. ugh!!!

So, my birthday's just around the corner... teehee. if you're feeling really kind and rich, get me a bottle of this! i'd love you to bits and pieces, more than the grains of sand on the beach... hahaha!!!

guess this is why i'm Pikachu?!

2010-09-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

Introducing... MY SECURITY PILLOW. hehehe...

I've had this pillow since i was 12, nearly 8 years now! but now it's more like a small cuddly lil thing i use to cover my eyes with to block out the light. and i always use it to irritate people who finds it disgusting. it is not disgusting!! even though it has never been washed. pffffft!!!

And i don't wanna be Pikachu, because it sounds like "smell hand and feet" in Hokkien.

ASOS dresses

2010-09-09T05:37:00.006+08:00

Top on my list (but i might change my mind later. being indecisive as usual!):

ASOS Jacquard Envelope Clutch

ASOS Heart Jacquard Waisted Dress
can't decide whether to buy it in Cream / Black

Rare Floral Heart Cut Out Dress
love those sweet looking floral prints

The "Should i buy these???" list:

Rare Mesh Insert Bandeau Dress
totally adore the sexy mesh insert but i'm not sure if i can carry off this dress well. not. well endowed. enough.

ASOS Broderie Anglaise Strappy Sundress
as good as parading around in just my panties, but i really like the broderie anglaise details!!

Rare Floral Contrast Two-In-One Bandeau Dress
love those floral prints, but it's looks like the kind of dress i'd get sick of very quickly

ASOS Crochet Strap Embroidered Hem Maxi
i can never carry off a maxi dress, but i'm very tempted to give this a try because of the crochet details

ASOS Cotton Lace Insert Bandeau Slip Beach
lace details will have an even shorter life span in my hands, not sure if i should take the risk.

Totally in love with these but can't have them:

Warehouse Broderie Anglais Linen Dress

ASOS Bow Front Drape Bandeau Dress

TFNC Contrast Sash Bandeau Dress

ASOS Ruched Sleeve Tulip Skirt Dress
in the style of Coleen McLoughlin

ASOS Sequin Disc Bandeau Dress

ASOS Premium Cornelli Bust Longer Length Dress
Out of stock

ASOS Linen Pencil Dress
in the style of Lady Gaga
Out of stock

ASOS Cross Hatch Linen Pencil Dress
Out of stock

ASOS Origami Fold Over Sundress
Out of stock

Here's another dress i bought recently:

Exams? yawn

2010-09-05T14:29:00.001+08:00

A family affair

2010-09-01T20:12:00.004+08:00

My curent Facebook profile picture ♥
(as if most of you don't already know)

Still trying to...

2010-08-31T14:48:00.002+08:00

But it's not that easy when people around you constantly reminds you of how lousy you are.

Cravingsssssssssssss

2010-08-28T23:42:00.004+08:00

hyperventilates at the last one in the second row. and Chocolate flavor is always out of stock in neighborhood supermarkets! i'm having a huge Ben & Jerry (chocolate fudge!!) ice cream craving now :'(

Happy Buff-day!!

2010-08-26T10:49:00.005+08:00

Picture taken 6 - 7 years ago

Today's lil Regina's (who is not so little anymore) 8th birthday. i still can't decide whether or not to make it an exception today and let her have a feast. she has evolved from a cute cuddly lil girl to a... big irritating tomboy-ish girl. sigh. i actually see myself in her, but she's like a 100 times worse than i am -.-

I have no idea what the elder ones are planning to do for her birthday today / tomorrow / this weekend. apparently we all can't be bothered because the thought of having to bring this pesky lil chatterbox out killed us almost instantly.

To all the big girls out there

2010-08-18T18:26:00.001+08:00

Expanding horizontally

2010-08-15T21:29:00.000+08:00

Resisting the urge to finish the last cup of yoghurt sitting in the fridge. ugh!!!
I've only started revising for my class test less than an hour ago and i'm losing focus already. i tend to snack a lot when doing revisions. i know it's unhealthy but heck, it does wonders to my concentration.

Dreams interpretation

2010-08-14T02:20:00.007+08:00

Lucid dreaming is basically "being aware that you are dreaming while dreaming."
"Interpreting a flying dream is fairly simple. Something is generally going RIGHT in your life. You feel free of cares and worries and you have the world at your feet.
Occasionally, we may be flying to avoid something, but the flying in and of itself is still an enjoyable dream activity, and the WAY we do it may tell us more about ourselves than the actual flying.

Freely flying as high or as low as you wish using your arms or feet for direction, often with the ability to do acrobatics in the air is an indication that you feel really good about something in your life. You have confidence in what you are doing or the place you are in life and you know you can live a little now. Things that seemed risky or dangerous before, now in the flying dream, seem so simply to achieve. You are likely very proud of an achievement at work or at home, and life is good."

i dreamt that something went wrong (don't remember what) and i flew away from my friends (didn't see who they were). i was flapping my arms really hard and flying over bridges and buildings. even clinging unto to random structures to rest when i got tired. sounds absurd but i was actually happy.

I remember i used to cry a lot in my dreams and i'll wake up in tears and feeling a mixed of emotions. even though i was totally aware that it was just a dream, it still gets the better of me. the highest record was crying on 3 or 4 different nights within 1 week span. it got so bad my ex-boyfriend would get out of bed and sleep in the living room.

A few weeks back, i dreamt that i got beaten up by my Dad and in my dreams he was repeating the exact same words he said. there is no excuse for violence and this is why i'd never think twice about walking out on violent partners. thinking back, i really have no idea how i put up with a violent partner for 2 years. but i have to admit that i've ever been violent towards some people in my life before and it makes me extremely guilty. still, i do keep my violent tendencies in check.

Believe

2010-08-12T02:08:00.001+08:00

Motivation?

2010-08-11T01:56:00.001+08:00

I believe i'd be able to pass my Economics module if i put in enough efforts. but my lecturer motivates me further by being a egoistic irritating pain in the ass. seriously, i never wanna attend his lessons again. i'd make damn sure i pass this module and i had better pass it at first attempt cos its so freaking hard. who the hell created Economics?!!

And after a month of worrying and panicking over my results, i'm proud to announce i've once again conquered another 2 modules. 5 down, 7 more to go!!!

The Boiler Room 3rd anniversay

2010-08-02T10:00:00.003+08:00

Friends managed to get hold of the invitation cards to The Boiler Room's 3rd anniversary private event and so i tagged along. not knowing they were also holding a "Ultimate Diva" competition, where 3 cross dressers competes for the Diva title. *roll eyes*

Contestant No.1

Contestant No.2

Contestant No.3

The judges

No idea who won cos i seriously can't be bothered to stay to the end of the show.

Singers from Movida / Dragonfly / Bar None dropped by to perform that night. but one of them sticks out like a sore thumb, and that has got to be...

Sylvester Sim

After so many years, he still looks like a drug addict.

This girl beside me actually told me his eyes are so damn freaking mesmerizing. i rolled my eyes at her. seriously, how can a guy with thinly trimmed eyebrows who uses eyeliners be hot / mesmerizing / jay chou look alike?

Gino strutting his stuffs

cross dressing really has got to be his forte. i've seen him cross dressed for the umpteenth time and not once i get sick of his performance! heh.

And my favorite singer (rapper)

A picture i'm reluctantly putting up... no idea why the photographer took such a close shot.

Ol' school

2010-08-01T07:28:00.004+08:00

Chance upon some old pictures my Aunt posted on Facebook.

the fat baby girl in white is me, the lady with very messy fringe who's carrying me is my Mom.
i look more like a boy. FML.

Outing!

2010-07-31T01:34:00.005+08:00

Remember i talked about going over to ECP to cycle / blade with my classmates during our term break? the pictures are finally up!

After 2 hours of cycling, not only was my butt aching, i was dying of thirst and hunger. what a pig!

Decided to head over to Carls' Jr. for some salad and burger but Jared had some other suggestions. so i used the disgusting teary-eyed trick on him. and it worked!! grrr.

At least he didn't give in out of sudden lost of appetite.

Group photo!

Law of Contract

2010-07-30T03:04:00.003+08:00

I've only attended 2 lessons of lectures on Law of Contract and i'm totally enjoying it. so much so that i'm asking myself why is it i've never thought of studying law. then again i've only attended the basics. according to the lecturer, it's a big challenge to one's language and involves a lot of reading.

Really looking forward to Law of Contract lectures. but first i'd have to sit through Economics lectures. which is totally boring the shit out of me, and having a grumpy long-winded lecturer isn't helping at all.

Fought.

2010-07-29T01:51:00.013+08:00

I'm done waiting and hoping for us to talk to each other again. but at least i know i've ever tried to salvage the friendship.

I gave myself so many reasons to why we're still having a cold war. from him not having my new number to msn dying on him coincidentally when i tried to talk to him to maybe silly me had left him the wrong number etc. the last on my list of possibilities is the possibility that he never wants to talk to me again. so i thought maybe i should email him, but later chickened out. i think if he wants to talk to me, he would...

A "cooling off" period obviously doesn't always work. i understand that if one day we ever talk again, things might not be the same again.

On my part i do admit that i was wrong. although deep down i feel that it was more of a disagreement caused by different points of view, i told myself that if i had to be the one to take full responsibility and be the one at fault, then be it. yet i was refused of a second chance.

It wasn't easy finding a friend like him. cos half the time, most of the guys around me are either putting me off with their child-like behaviors or trying to get lucky with me or we just didn't get along at all.
but he was different. throughout our friendship, he was by my side whenever i meet with setbacks. we can not talk for months and when he hears from me, it'll be when i screw things up. and most importantly, he'd never tried to be funny with me. although he had expressed interest, most of the time he takes on the big brother figure in my life.

Since after so long he's still refusing to talk to me, then obviously he still can't get over what has happened. what's the point. after all, friendship is a two-way street.

Sat night

2010-07-26T23:57:00.008+08:00

Reminds me of our impromptu decision to head over to Boiler Room after shopping.
Having beer as early as 8pm, with the live singers all to ourselves. Awesome!!

Always look on the bright side of Life

2010-07-23T10:35:00.001+08:00

Negative people who complains and whines all day about every single shit in their life fails to see that having a negative outlook can also cause people around them to feel miserable. so instead of harping on that particular matter and complaining to someone else, try shifting your attention by focusing on something more positive.

Many people choose to deal with negative people by getting rid of them from their life. everyone likes to go out and have fun. when heading out with you just to listen to your complains and woes becomes a little too often, that's when people start cutting you off. one may give themselves an excuse that a true friend will stay by their side to help them through. but what i say is, a true friend should be honest to help make you a better person.

If your pessimistic outlook have been taking a toll on your social life, it's about time to do a self-check.

Looking at cute pictures might help:

Kayaking

2010-07-22T10:22:00.002+08:00

Classmates are planning a kayaking trip next term break and i can't wait!
i intend to pair up with someone whom i wanna irritate most and make him / her sit in the front of the double kayak so that i can "accidentally" smack them with the paddle.

i'm sorry.

2010-07-14T03:30:00.005+08:00

In life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

Waiting patiently.

Blah

2010-07-13T00:20:00.006+08:00

I'd be glad if i manage to scrap through my Employee Relations exam. was pissed beyond words by the lecturer as i sat in the examination hall... how can he give us the wrong exam focus?!
Quantitative Methods on the 16th and i haven't even start preparing, cos i'm confident! heh. still, wish me some luck.

All time favorite: Michael Bublé - Me And Mrs Jones
(actually, i can't decide between Me & Mrs Jones or Moondance. anyhow, i shall post this!)

怀念的人放在心底，深爱的人牵在手里。

2010-07-10T07:34:00.005+08:00

From MdmBoss.Xanga:

Click to enlarge

Who's on?!

2010-07-08T08:59:00.006+08:00

I SOOOOOOOO WANNA WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!

It is okay to cry at Disney films =')

2010-07-02T05:15:00.003+08:00

1st Birthday

2010-07-01T14:08:00.008+08:00

Headed over to a my classmate's place for her baby's 1st birthday celebration over the weekend. i was told beforehand that i'd be the only one from our school attending since the invitations were sent out on short notice and the others couldn't make it. not only that, turned out i was also the only Chinese at the party.

Trisha's baby boy is super charming!! he has got big eyes and very long lashes. his lashes are exactly the kind women would die for. no need for mascara or falsies.

There was Bollywood music playing in the background. and the baby boy would stop playing with his new toys once in a while, and shake from left to right to the rhythm. heh.

Dinner was yummy, love the fish curry. i actually had 2 rounds of the buffet spread plus a slice of the sinful birthday cake. fat with a capital F!

And being as anal retentive as ever, i picked what i deem would be the "best" toys for kids. ahem... and that's educational toys.

Rainbow Ring Stacker

Rainbow Cup Stacker

Shapes Sorting Ball

At this rate i'm going, all the parents will love me but the kids are gonna hate me cos i'm so boring.
i guess the birthday boy is still too young to understand what these toys are for. all that he was obsessed with doing is put the toys which are still in it's original packaging, into his mouth.

Thumbsucking & Pillows

2010-06-30T16:48:00.007+08:00

So, i was chatting with my classmates after lunch and it somehow drifted to childhood habits like having a particular favorite / special pillow, thumb-sucking, bed-wetting.
this is embarrassing to admit, but er... i managed to kick my thumb-sucking habit only after i got into secondary school. (notice i don't refer to it as a bad habit)

Excerpt from Wikipedia:
"Children suck on objects (including pacifiers) to soothe themselves; sucking is one of a baby’s natural reflexes and completely typical for babies and young children.
Moreover, ultrasound scans have revealed that thumb sucking can start before birth, as early as 15 weeks from conception; whether this behavior is voluntary or due to random movements of the fetus in the womb is not conclusively known."

Some child psychologists consider thumb sucking at age past seven to be a sign of stress and insecurity. This is only true on some cases. While thumb sucking can be a symptom of internal distress, most cases of thumb-sucking are merely conditioning. Thumb-sucking can also affect the shape of the oral cavity or dentition.

But i was lucky this habit of mine didn't rob me of my beautiful straight teeth. Although i'd already kicked this habit, maybe i should consider getting it back since i've been having problems getting to sleep. Who knows if it might work.

But one thing i know for sure, is that my favorite pillow is staying by my side. No sunning nor washing allowed!! Even my Mum dare not do anything to it, so by now you should have an idea how protective i am towards it.

P/S: Diana, if we have a stay-over at your place you'll get the chance to meet my special pillow. *evil laugh*

Ice-skating

2010-06-28T19:36:00.004+08:00

Long overdue pictures! although many didn't show up that day, at least there was still quite a few of us. i think i left my skating skills behind the last time i was there, took me some time to relearn it when i got into the ice rink again.
spent most of my time disturbing Shuhail though! the others had no problem after a while but he was still struggling. hehehe. he was practically walking with the skates on! smart.
and me? still trying to be more confident, can never seem to skate on my own!

That's what she said!

2010-06-25T19:11:00.004+08:00

I get so teary eyed whenever i see this advertisement! nevertheless, my family still managed to make a joke out of it.

Mummy: Please don't sing me such songs if this happens to me in future.
Me: Why?
Mummy: So boring! i'd rather not wake up if you sing such songs to me.
Me: Okay! i sing... "I WANT NOBODY, NOBODY BUT YOUUUUUU!!!"

Nobody parody

2010-06-22T16:39:00.003+08:00

One of the lecturers has got the habit of showing the class funny clips after our tea break... this one never fails to make me LOL!
the famous How Now Brown Cow Mr. Brown doing what he's best at ;)

Don't Stop Believing

2010-06-20T18:36:00.001+08:00

I keep hearing this song being played at Cathay's cinemas and the first time i heard it was when the Boiler Room's live band sang it. the tune's been stuck in my head for months already!

Amor

2010-06-19T16:42:00.004+08:00

I used to think that the "It is hard to fill a cup that is already full" saying can only be applied to Knowledge. but i fumbled upon this on a friend's Facebook page.

有个苦者找到一个智者倾诉他的心事。他说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。” 智者说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。” 他说：“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。” 智者让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。苦者被烫到马上松开了手，智者说：“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就会放下。”

This particular girl had always been so cheerful, loud and bubbly. i've only met her about 5 times on different occasions. we don't know each other very well and we didn't even exchange contacts till last night.
I'm not an expert in relationships, neither am i some love guru... but what i truly believe is that all a broken heart needs is time to embrace the reality and to heal.

Tonsil Stones

2010-06-16T02:53:00.005+08:00

Decided to share this little information i found out just recently.

I fell sick a few weeks back and had lots of mucus flowing. then i started having this constant feeling that there's this irritating bump stuck in the back of my throat. pretty sure it wasn't food, i decided to stick my finger in to check. yes, you don't wanna imagine that scene.
curiosity killed the kat! to my horror, i had some findings. i was so horrified i immediately called up my Mum. although i felt much better after that, picture of that ugly looking little yellow lump i extracted continued to bug me. so i... GOOGLE IT! heh.

Excerpt from Wikipedia:
A tonsillolith, also known as a tonsil stone or a zot, is a piece or, more commonly, a cluster of calcareous matter that forms in the rear of the mouth, in the crevasses (called tonsillar crypts) of the palatine tonsils (commonly known as tonsils). They can range up to the size of a peppercorn and are white/cream color. The main substance is mostly collagen, but they have a strong unpleasant odor because of hydrogen sulfide, methyl mercaptan and other substances.

Protruding tonsilloliths may feel like foreign objects lodged in the tonsil crypt. They may be a nuisance, but are usually not harmful. They are a possible cause of halitosis (bad breath).

If you have no idea where your tonsils are... when you open your mouth wide & look into the back of your throat, they are those big globs at the sides.

Here's some tonsil stone removal videos. really disgusting but also pretty interesting... just watch it!!!

This too shall pass

2010-06-15T02:39:00.006+08:00

I definitely do not enjoy having random people in my life tearing open my old wounds, rub salt into them and put me on yet another guilt trip... for what, seriously?
of course i do feel remorseful towards certain things i've done in the past. all the obvious wrong doings, i'm well aware of them and i learnt from my mistakes. but what happened has already happened, what do you expect of me?!
if it makes you feel good to rake up shits and throw them in my face over and over again, kindly do us both a favor by getting out of my life.

For now, i shall make a mental note... that this particular person does not exist. i didn't let you back into my life again after so long, to have the chance to screw things up.

Overdue JB trip post!

2010-06-14T18:04:00.009+08:00

Had a really bad experience with a money changer on my first trip to JB. most of the people exchanged SGD$100 for MYR$230, my sis and i decided to be the odd one to change SGD$150 instead. the man actually mistook 3 fifty dollar notes as 2 and we spent the next half an hour or so arguing with him and his supervisor. also, another 2 hours or so waiting for his IT to come over and replay the camera footage to double confirm our claim. grrrr...
so yeah, my first few hours at JB was a really unhappy one, practically cursing and swearing in my heart every single second.

While waiting, we all headed to the basement for lunch. of course i was in no mood to eat, so i just looked on and be polite by munching a little of their share when offered. (but still cursing and swearing!! hahaha)

drawing my eyebrows while waiting for food to arrive. what, i didn't have enough time to make up in the morning la!!! argh.

Ah Joe with her beef steak

Lao Lian with her seafood spread.

scallops were reeeeeally big, fat, juicy and fresh! same goes for the salmon!!

Jean with some ostrich meat. nice!

me with ice chocolate. TMD, too much sugar!! but still i had 2 of these. LOL!

They had like 871356344 smoke breaks and each time i had to stand around and wait for them, not irritating what!

Finally resting our tired feets at Holiday In after some shopping, and at the same time getting our manicure and pedicure done. that's me falling asleep while the poor manicurist work on my pig leg.

More shopping after our mani/pedi session then headed off to Jusco for dinner. Pictures are not suitable for hungry people!!

when i tried this double boiled soup, i went "we've went through enough hardships in life man, why did you have to go and order such a bitter tasting soup?!?!"

Lao Lian having some bird nest, which looks more like mucus.

One of the most sinful meals i ever had! most of the dishes there are cooked with lots of chinese herbs and on top of that, each of us had a small pot of sharks' fin soup. not forgetting my favourite cod fish, lots of collagen in it! yums!!!

Proceeded to do more shopping then we rushed back to the custom to catch the last bus!

Yayness

2010-06-12T18:00:00.001+08:00

I've been feeling really happy recently.

Firstly, i finally received my cheque from CDAC and it was almost 10 times more than the amount i've been expecting.
although a few hours after learning about this, i proceeded to loan my parent an amount more than what i received.

Secondly, one of the most challenging modules i'm currently taking (in case you don't already know) other than Accounting, is Quantitative Methods. it is ALL about calculations and statistics. most importantly, I HATE NUMBERS!
i got my helpful classmates and Jean to teach me on different occasions and i still didn't get it. i felt so stupid and lost. so i stayed up and forced myself to "communicate" with Probability.
after staring and working out the graphs for about an hour, I FINALLY GOT IT. it's really "chicken feet" la! felt so dumb that it took me so long to understand it. but still, the sense of accomplishment for being able to figure it out on my own was priceless!

Last but not least, other than all the above events, i'm just feeling happy from within. plain satisfied and happy. everyone knows how life is made up of a vicious cycle full of ups and downs, it never ends. so i'm gonna enjoy these moments of happiness while i can, then i'll be even more positive to fight whatever negativity that eventually comes my way.

Wokay, back to the books!

Schooooooool

2010-06-08T00:20:00.003+08:00

Back to school from my term break and was greeted with assignment and homeworks on the first lesson. not forgetting Quantitative Method is a total biiiiiiiiiitch! all the statistics, graphs and calculations is boring the shit out of me.
did i mention i was so shocked by the homeworks i chocked and swallowed a chewing gum during lesson? f*ck my life seriously?!

June's gonna be a busy, busy month. =(

Fun-filled term break

2010-06-05T01:22:00.010+08:00

Was supposed to go rock-climbing with my classmates, but due to the cost entailed we decided to head for Kallang Leisure to ice-skate instead.
my virgin trip to the ice rink, and it was a successful one. i managed to master ice-skating after falling once, without forgetting to also pull poor Merrill down with me. hahaha!

Here's a few pictures we took

Helped to guide Yiping...

There!!

Merrill and Diana were really good at it! especially Merrill, he can skate backwards and even do a penguin dance. hah! we're planning to go back and try again, so i'm really looking forward to our next term break.

Then proceeded to meet up with the usual group for dinner at Aston's @ Cathay then Spinelli @ Cineleisure to chillax.

Regina's picture that was in my organiser.

Will be heading for JB later... it's gonna be the first stamp on my passport, and the first time i'll be out of S'pore without my parent by my side. i'm excited though it's just a really short trip!

Nostalgia

2010-06-03T14:39:00.008+08:00

Went back to Aljunied Chup Lao, also known as Circuit Rd, to have supper with family friends last night. and it felt so good to be back there, walking down the same old path i used to take to get to school. together with my Mum, we noticed nothing much around there has changed... except for the newly renovated hawker center.

I remember how my parents used to sat my sisters and i down at the dimly lighted makeshift tables along the big drain together with some Uncles and Aunties. they'll drink and chat the night away, and we kids will play amongst ourselves. and the only public toilet was located miles away, so usually if we kids are really urgent and need to go we'd just pee around the corner. heh.

This is how the hawker center used to look like...

After we moved out of Circuit road, i no longer hang out at the hawker center as often till i got into secondary school. that's when i started going back to the hawker center with my schoolmates. most of the time, for desserts and dinner. my all time favorite was Ice Kachang kosong with only palm sugar. and best of all... it cost only 50 cents.

It was really heartening to see all the familiar faces last night, ex-schoolmates, the same ol' desserts stall, same stall owners doing what they're best at (except that famous orh jian and hokkien mee queue was a bitch). sitting at the hawker enjoying your food while sweating with Hokkien songs playing in the background. hahaha. not to forget, meeting up with family friends and getting to see cute lil Ritz again.

And tonight, i'll be meeting them again for dinner at Macpherson Lane. Uncle wants to treat Regina to some famous crabs place that even LKY patronizes =.=

it happens to also be the place my family and i used to take long walks along some terrace houses just to accompany my Mum go bet on 4D. if not to steal pretty flowers and my favorite big fat juicy pomegranates. =')

except this time round it'll be me taking the bus to get there with Regina in tow.

Wuwuuuuuuuuuu

2010-05-30T16:16:00.004+08:00

BAD HAIR DAY... #@&%$@#&!

To All:

2010-05-25T22:12:00.002+08:00

Those whom i gave my attention to and took it for granted...

=')

2010-05-24T00:15:00.007+08:00

Totally describes how i'm feeling.

On a hiatus

2010-05-18T20:18:00.002+08:00

Taken the last time i clubbed at Phuture, on James's birthday in April.

From Tumblr

2010-05-17T00:36:00.003+08:00

Simplicity is bliss.

2010-05-16T02:03:00.006+08:00

Girl, i wanted to dedicate just one post on Facebook telling you how much i really appreciate what you've done for me but i was at a total lost for words. Then again, the little space on Facebook wouldn't have been enough to fit in what i wanted to say to you.

It's been less than 2 months? or maybe 3 since we started talking and paying attention to each other. But just one phone call from me you came rushing down from Bukit Gombak.
Bukit Gombak. Can you imagine? My friends who lives in Eunos, Bedok, Aljunied, Tampinese, Toa Payoh, Hougang and the list goes on, yet they don't even give a flying fuck. And mind you, this girl doesn't even drives, she actually took the public transport all the way to Aljunied just to meet me. This girl whom i barely knew made time and effort to come all the way down just to listen to my sorrows.

It wasn't easy for me to put aside my brave front to tell just anyone. Not just because everyone has their own set of problems to deal with in life. But also stuffs like being judge, whether or not we've both reached a comfortable stage in our friendship to confide in each other.
Yes, eventually i poured out all my sorrows to her and was crying my heart out. I was feeling a mixed of emotions. Part of me needs to let out all the frustrations yet part of me does not want to because to cry is to show that one is weak.
Of course after all the crying and bitching has stopped, we ended up sitting in a fast food chain outlet for hours chatting like there's no tomorrow.

Even if one day we are to drift apart and lose contact. I'll always remember how this simple girl who leads a simple life once crossed path with me and touched my heart. I do hope you'll turn out to be a friend who'll stay for a few good years, but i've had so much disappointments before this i don't wanna put in too much hopes.

Thank you girl =)

P/S: You know who you are. don't leave a comment / tag, give me a buzz on my phone after reading this alright!

Preferred position.

2010-05-10T14:39:00.000+08:00

I like A: Spooning best.
B & F causes the "awkward arm" to happen, while the other positions provides little or no security at all.

Ip Man 2

2010-05-07T02:28:00.003+08:00

So i finally watched the movie online. I wonder how many Chinese out there also teared a little while watching this movie like i did.

Anyway, here's a little quote from the movie:

"Although people have different statuses in life, one person's integrity is not worth more than another. We all should start to respect each other." Donnie Yen, Ip Man 2

ROFL @ baby Verlyn

2010-05-03T21:27:00.003+08:00

Model

2010-04-29T00:50:00.005+08:00

Even i am not used to seeing myself with such thick make up on.
but i enjoyed myself throughout the whole process, it was as if we're kids playing dress up. only difference is that i am the only one getting my face "drawn".

The lecturer was urging me to try dramatic make ups with 2 coats of false eyelashes and thick eye shadow. i really can't imagine how i'd looked like with that much of make ups piled on. most prolly gonna be really, really scary.

Kushin-bo!!

2010-04-25T20:33:00.002+08:00

Celebrated Jean's 22nd at Kushinbo:

Chawanmushi = Happyness in a cup!

Abrupt end! was too busy with eating to take pictures... =))

Deciphering

2010-04-15T05:20:00.009+08:00

A baby Verlyn picture a day!

2010-04-14T03:37:00.003+08:00

To Von: Baby girl's long lashes is more obvious in this picture!

Gummy Bears!

2010-04-14T03:08:00.006+08:00

Noticed anything unusual?!

Catching up

2010-04-13T07:51:00.004+08:00

Was running late to meet Ping at City Hall but got there only to know we were at different train stations. apparently i told her to meet at Raffles City when it was supposed to be at City Hall, Raffles City shopping center =.=

When we finally met up to walk over to Chijmes together, we crossed the crossroads in the wrong direction and end up having to make a U-turn to get to our destination... all while it was raining =.=

After all the waiting & walking in the rain, we finally arrive at Chijmes.

And what do you get when you put 2 girls who haven't met up for more than a year (?) together?
Excessive gossip session

We kept talking and talking AND talking, to a point the waiters & waitresses kept coming back to check whether or not we're ready to place our orders.
WHEN WE COULD HAVE JUST PLACED OUR ORDERS AND THEN CHAT IN PEACE.
i don't know why but it seems like the both of us just morphs into major bimbos the moment we're placed together.

Being a steak lover, of course i ordered a steak, i had their Garlic Mushroom Prime Rib Steak. Ping on the other hand, ordered a Chicken Parmigiana.

Anyway, i think we were too obsessed with gossiping and talking to notice how was the food. =D

It's already 8.30am, time to go to sleep!!!

Kawaii Desu Ne!!

2010-04-11T08:48:00.001+08:00

a Baby Verlyn picture a day! =))

Friendship is a two-way street

2010-04-11T07:29:00.011+08:00

It is common for friends to drift apart when life gets busy. although there may be a possibility for friendship to rekindle by catching up again when they eventually have free time on hand, but you've to admit that things may not be the same again.

Because i've never really had a girl pal in my life who'd stayed by my side for a few years, i really cherish the few people in my social circle whom i enjoy spending time with and can totally be myself.
(someone actually told me this had to be one of the least expected thing coming from me because she'd never expected me to be so unpopular among my friends -.-)

I believe true friends are people who helps you grow. they are the ones who points out your faults, be brutally honest with you, thrashes things out with you and help make you a better person.

Being someone who speaks my mind without second thoughts, someone who makes a joke out of everything and even myself... how am i to know what is it i've said that have offended you? how am i to know that the silliest joke to me is the most offensive joke to you?

A friend told me, that friendship is just like a relationship, communication is vital.
so i would very much prefer to be told the truth than to be outcast and left alone to wonder what went wrong.

Friendship is a two-way street, it takes an effort from both people to make it work.
both parties have to be both the giver and the taker.
how would it feel like to always be on the giving end?

I don't believe in having platonic male-female friendships anymore. after a guy i've known for years, whom i confided in about almost everything fell for me and we fell out ever since.

Even the Urban Dictionary says: "Men do not have platonic friends, just simply women they haven't fucked yet."

I still do hang out with the opposite sex and have fun, but the problem is some of the guys sometimes think too highly of themselves when the girl makes the first move to ask him out.
c'mon la, asking you out does not necessarily means asking you out on a date... you think you're some hot stuff?
i can make do without a friend like this anyway.

No, seriously... what's with "Man + Woman + Movies and/or Dinner = DATE ?"
to me the above combination is the most common thing to do when you're hanging out with a guy (and even girl) friend and both of you have got too much time on hand to kill thus the above combination.
THAT BEATS KILLING TIME ALONE AT HOME.

So yeah, if you're a guy and you fall into the above "Loser Mindset" category... congrats! i bet you lost a lot of girl pals thanks to being so narrow minded.

Kawaii Desuuuu~

2010-04-10T02:37:00.001+08:00

♥

Cliche Talks

2010-04-07T04:57:00.010+08:00

I am now taking into serious consideration whether or not to switch to studying Part-time.
i wanna go back to the working society and gain some experience while i'm still young, not waste my time away like this.
i'm really at a total lost now, need to talk to someone who's capable of giving me a good advice.
please drop me an sms? =(

Baby Verlyn is turning 6 months old in 3 days time... here's a few pictures of her over the past few months.

Lil cutie @ 5 months old

@ 4 months old

3 months old

2 months old

She has grown so much chubbier and has beautiful eyes! and i'm damn sure she'll grow up to be such a heartbreaker.

Cuiping called me last night and we catch up a little on random stuffs.

Me, Serene & Ping in better times (in 2005?)

See how much she'd evolved over the past few years.

And it sure was good to hear from her after soooooo long!
she is now officially the only Macphersonian i'm still in contact with...
(there's also Bobby & Herman... but not counted la, i know them only after i left school)

And she was acting like an auntie asking me why i'm still Single. (WTF! single must have reasons one ah?!) i'm shocked but equally happy to hear that JF & herself, Serene & Suhian... all the high school sweethearts are doing good and ever thought of marriage.

Our short conversation also touched on how i used to change my boyfriend like as if i'm changing my clothes.
but now i've totally passed the "Hoping for something better to come along" mindset and would rather spend my time & energy on doing more fruitful stuffs.

Of course, there are times when i hope i'm in a relationship... having someone dear to me to share my happiness and woes with.
but the feeling of wanting a companion isn't strong / often enough to make me wanna get into a relationship with just any man that comes my way.

After Ron, (yeah, it's him again) i often ask myself if i'd rather settle for less or be alone, i chose the latter. so now, most of the time i'm just envious in green of all those lovey dovey couples around me.

Ever heard that there's this 1 person in your life whom you'll never really get over no matter how long? cliche but very true (FML).
i tried dating, being with someone else, burying myself with work... but here i am, more than a year into our break up still wondering how is he doing.

Sidetrack a little... i also totally detest the dating mind games, how some people tango and play hard to get.
why god whyyyy?!?! why can't people just make things simpler. if there's mutual attractions and both parties are confident of making things work then just go on and get into a relationship.
life's short, one day, it'll flash before your eyes so make sure its worth the watch!

20 March

2010-04-06T06:56:00.009+08:00

It's already 9am and i'm still wide awake. this is what happens to students who have too much energy to burn -.-

Some pictures from the other night the usuals gathered to club at Phuture, some sort of welcome back party for James.
also the very same night i go scratched by a pussy wussy guy

Lesson learnt from this picture: "NEVER sit beside Eileen during photo taking, you'll end up feeling fatter than usual"

The other day i was asleep at a friend's place when i suddenly had a nagging feeling in my head to go home.
the first thing that greeted me when i got home was a war.

You see, this is what i hate about gamblers... results of their bets greatly affects their mood and people around them have to put up with their shits.

And eventually the sisters and i ended up in an argument.
i wouldn't say i weren't at fault, but neither am i totally at fault.
was i the cause to why she got kicked out of the house and was beaten up? no.
the fact that she tried to hit me caused Dad to hit the roof. everyone has been putting up with her lifestyle and it takes just that little bit more of mistake to be done right before our eyes to spark off the whole fight.

I'm at fault for throwing her bag. what, her bag cost like 37059893183492bucks? sorry, didn't know. still, not a good reason for her to lay her filthy hands on me.

She chased me out of the house but she end up getting chased out of the house herself.
am i happy? no.
am i guilty? no.
is this what i want? no.
has it got anything to do with me? no.
not like i was the one who told Dad to chased her out. so if the whole world wants to blame it on me and think that it's gonna make me feel guilty in anyway... think again.

My Dad alone is giving my Mum more than enough trouble, she can make do with one lesser problematic bummer.
i've had enough of her throwing tantrums at my Mum just because she refuses to give her money, like as if Mum is still obliged to do so. also had enough of her spending Mum's hard earneds on rubbish.

Friends who told her they'll stay by her side and help her through, you're not helping her at all.
anyone who's able bodied is capable of getting their life back on track, they just need to have enough determination.