Future's too bleak... too bleak.

I think i tend to complicate my relationships too much. hmm... not think, i'm damn sure.
it's been a long long time since i last loved a guy whole heartedly (aka blindly), honestly and daringly. i'm pretty sure Alex was the first and last. after that, i just drop the thought that true love *resist urge to puke* do exist.


Been asking myself if i'd be able to maintain my single status if i end my current relationship. it's been 354648054 years since i was single for more than a months' time. heartbreaker MEH.


Because i think it's time to stop being hopeful.
time and again i've tried convincing him to quit this job that's treating him like a slave. MOM's Employment Act exist for a reason, it's for the welfare of workers. yet he willingly stayed on to this job just because someone told him he has the potentials of being an Interior Designer.
maybe i've portrayed myself as a very unsupportive girlfriend, but i'd still insist that this job just isn't worth it.
i've chosen to stand aside and be blind towards all these... but i've decided it's time to come to a stop.


Because i cannot stand a Man succumbing to his parents' threats.
everyone has a part to play to keep the family going, not just one person alone. one person's determination alone won't do the job... and you're a Man, an adult, where's your dignity?
because i see laziness and fear of independence overwhelming you, i can no longer bring myself to accept a Man like this. i've lived with him, and i believe what i've seen is what i should believe.


He has no savings, a measly amount in his CPF.
this, i'd say... would lead many to thinking that i'm materialistic. but no, i'm being practical. maybe what most girls out there would do is to quietly stay by her boyfriend's side and support him with no complains... afterall, he did not choose for this to happen in his family.
but no... he had a choice, and he'd chosen to take the risk of paying for a house which he doesn't own. sorry, i cannot accept.
you can live on your own, you can survive on your own. but you have fears you choose not to overcome...

Put yourself in my shoes and think, do you see a future with this Man you're with?
this has been the reason why i broke up with a few of my previous boyfriends... maybe it's just me, i worry too much and i expect too much.