Thanks for pointing it out.

Why is everyone approaching me when they have financial difficulties. WHY?!
i now suspect all relationships, friendships and even kinships.
what do you people take me as, really.
i'm not rich. you don't see me shopping, fine dining etc. it's home straight after work and nowhere else.
i slog my life to afford my studies, spendings, bills and family. what makes you think i can afford to go around lending money to people who spend every single cent of their pay?!?!?!

Now a guy twice my age is borrowing from me an amount i wouldn't say is big, neither would i say is small.
hello... twice my age. WTF?
i choose not to reply to his sms.

Truth be told, i just lent another friend an amount of money this month and i really don't wanna risk any more money on personal loans.
things are so complicated, i really need someone to talk to right now.

I'm damn sick of all the nonsense i get from every single one of you, you and you.
i'm so sick and disappointed with so many people that i think it's best i keep to myself.

I believe Humans can change for the better, i believe you don't purposely fuck the life your Mum had given you up... i tried to advise and i tried to help (without financially helping.)
in return, the other party got pissed and screamed my head off my neck. great job.
were my good intentions ever appreciated? well... maybe those weren't even "good" intentions to the other party.

You can say the life i lead is boring, but i got a choice and i've decided this is what i want.
i'm off liquor, cigarettes and socialising. i want my bed, home, family... nothing else, no one else.



I don't wanna talk about the past. but this time round, it really did struck me that maybe afterall, i've never actually gotten over what he did to me.
what's the point of talking about it even? it's been more than 2 years.
now, it all depends on how i'm gonna find a closure and put a stop to all these mess i'm causing myself.
i look so fine, strong and totally okay on the outside to the extend that i believed i've moved on. everyone moves on eventually... but apparently not. i deceived even myself.

I forgive that fucker, but i didn't forget what he did.
i thought i also forgive his actions... now i'm suspecting myself.
all these has proven that 2 years isn't enough for me to get over that particular trauma.
i need to help myself first...

Now, i believe i'm prepared for tomorrow's battle. i really believe i am.