Me: Mei, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Regina: Hmmm... i wanna work in office.
Me: HUH?! what is that.
Regina: Work in office lor.
Me: WHAT?! like who???
*super disappointed that my baby sis isn't as ambitious as i thought she'll be*
Regina: Like... YOU.
Me: Really? but why? but baobei (me) earn so little leh, you sure?
Regina: Noooooo... you got so many $50 notes!!!
*points at drawer*
Alrighttt.. at first i was like "WTF?! no way!!!" but when she said she wants to be just like me, i was so
Earlier on over supper, i told Mum about the conversation i had with Regina and she's actually very supportive about Regina wanting to work in an office.
Apparently to my Mum, working in an office is all about "dressing up and sitting in the office, tapping away on the keyboard all day".
yeah right, she makes it sounds like it's so easy.
Anyway, this is what i love about my Mum most, she is always so supportive of us.
I actually used to hate my parents a lot, i used to think why the hell did they bring me to this world in the first place when they knew they couldn't afford to put me through proper education.
Later on when i dropped out of school because i decided i don't wanna risk wasting a few hundred bucks which could have been well spent on Regina's diapers and milk powder instead, than on attempting to fare well in my 'N's when i don't even have confidence in doing so... i dropped out unwillingly. I felt like i HAD to drop out of school to help support the family even though no one told / asked me to.
Macpherson made me write a letter on why i wanna drop out of school and i wrote them a long composition on my plans for the future and on why i think it's a better option for me. It was just plain bullshitting all along, till one fine day... i thought, why not?!
Of course along the way, i strayed and i sidetracked... but nevertheless, i picked myself up and i got to where i am today.
I'll always remember how i took up 2 full-time jobs to save up as soon as possible for the earliest Basic Cert intake. At that time i just got to know of what's Human Resource through Daphne Maia... i told myself
"fuck it, just go get the certificate for the sake of getting one!"
But eventually, i fell in love with Human Resource. As much as i hate payroll or anything that has to do with calculations, i've got to admit i like to make a better working environment for people. I like the idea of proposing for benefits to the management which i think would benefit my people greatly, be it in terms of health / commitments / financial. I like how you try to work around keeping listless people motivated and happy to go to work although i admit, i scare the staffs more often than anything else.
So anyway, whenever i think i'm not gonna make it, it's impossible, i'm so screwed, i'm so fucking stressed and tired... i just think back to how i made it through that 3 months of hell, working day and night and never getting to rest... i tell myself if i was able to do that, everything else IS possible. i just need to give it a shot and see what i get.
So to those of you (Teachers, Ex-bf, Ex-bf's parents, friends, relatives..) who looked down on me, who told me never to attempt to study again, who told me i'd never break this vicious financial crisis cycle that WILL DEFINITELY continue to the next generation, who laughed at me in my face when i said i'm studying... i am so gonna prove all of you wrong.
And of course, i love my parents now. i love my family to bits and pieces and they're my source of motivation. thinking back, i think my Mum really did try to give me the best of what she can and she has never stopped doing that.
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