The lecturer and i started talking and one thing she said really jolted me awake, "a girl like you will go far in life. God is fair, don't worry too much and stay focused..."
The conversation i had with the lecturer had definitely helped steer me back on tracks. it struck me that i was too preoccupied with the wrong things and worrying over nothing.
but the past few weeks had been really chaotic. i've been disappointed and badly hurt by the people around me. i've been losing sleep, my appetite and myself. i thought i have to be a cruel, heartless and evil person in order to be able to survive in this world. i felt like i was competing against the people who had caused me so much miseries, that i had to be a even more hurtful person than they are in order to not be affected by them.
It is not a battle against them, it's a battle i am fighting against myself. maybe there was supposed to be something for me to learn from all these happenings? to be more patient? to be more forgiving? to recognize who are the people worth keeping by my side?
"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all."
Martin Luther King Jr.
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