Long argument

"stop living in your own world. stop your foolish deeds, your inconsiderate behaviour and your selfish attitude.
well, but because i, or WE know that you're never EVER gona stop anyway, WE see no point in making you understand verbally. Thus, actions were taken, appropriately.

YOU. its all about you, isnt it? your TAI TAI LIFE, your "HARD-EARNED MONEY", your "HANDPHONE BILLS", your OWN PLEASURE, your way of SHOWING CARE AND CONCERN...... please, cut it out.

you brought an ANNOYNOMOUS home and performed quite openly, against the rules. you know the damn rules and the damn consequences. yet, you still do it. So who do you have to blame?? Quite sadly, YOURSELF. Dont blame it on his violence. Reason being, HE'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT AND WE ALL KNOW HE'LL NEVER EVER CHANGE. So, all i have to say is, SERVE YOU GOD-DAMN RIGHT. oh but i have to admit, it does hurt to have to say this. Not very deeply thou. You have my deepest sympathy.

But come on, what the fuck was going on in your head?? You did something you were warned against doing, not once, not twice, but UMPTEEN TIMES. And considering MA'S condition, you still went ahead and let hell loose. What the fuck were you thinking? you yourself unleashed the demon and you yourself dared him to abuse you. At the end of the day, you want to push all the dirty deeds to him. WHY? Why try to gain sympathy posing evidence of his violence on the internet, letting the whole world know what a jerk he is? why have you no guts to point out what made him do it? Where did your guts run to? When have you ever ever ever admit your mistakes and at least show that you're remorseful?? when its time to apologise, you never once put in the effort to do it. When there's a chance to push the blame to others, you amazingly accomplish it very efficiently.

Dont even try to score points from the "monthly support" you gave to this family. BECAUSE YOU FORCED MA TO HER WITS END TO PAY YOUR FUCKING PHONE BILL WITH THAT 200$ YOU GAVE TO HER MONTHLY. AND YOU YOURSELF ASKED HER TO PAWN THAT DAMNED BRACELET, IN THE END, YOU INSIST THAT SHE SHOULD GO TAKE IT OUT WHEN YOU,YOURSELF TOLD HER BEFORE TO LET THAT BRACELET OFF. WHAT THE FUCK OKAY. she had to call me, while i was in the middle of a financial freak crisis, pouring her heart out to me, telling me that she really really dont know what to do anymore. do you know? apparently, you wouldnt even care if you knew. when she had to asked Jean to pay for Regina's school fees, you commanded her to pay your damn bills. You know that kind of impression your portraying to us? You dont right? fuck it.... you wont ever realise anyway. cuz once again, its all about you and your own life.

Anyway, i do know i still owe you TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS so you can put both your legs up and shake it very vigorously while enjoying your tai tai life. You know how scary it is to OWE you something? man, what could be worse than this? having to panic and be on your guard just cuz you owe someone that's blood-related to you.... i never know when your alter ego is gona take over and put me down, pushing and forcing me into the ground, with all the filthy, dirty and disrespectful things you'll say into my face. Well, i just wana say, dont worry, i wont like to owe you. Not at all.

Sighs. its sad that you actually HATE THE IDEA I MOVED BACK HOME. Its so damn sad that my presence is disgusting you so much. i mean, what the fuck have i done to you man? Oh wait, i owe you TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.......... man, is this it? if this is it, then i'm so sorry man. Look, all these years, i dont think you realised, one of the minimal reasons i ran away from home, is cuz i was running away from you and dad. YOU AND DAD. you wana discriminate Jean for her foul mouth? Take a look at yourself, listen to youself. what have you got to compare to her? i know, i know i cant compare myself to you due to the fact that i'm still hanging by a thread at the age of 19 and you're in a stable comfort zone at the age of 18. but hello, at least i still have my dignity and brains. apparently, you decided to strip yourself of your diginity and intelligence ( which i doubt is very maximum ) .

So, at the end of the day, who have you gotta blame? dont think it doesnt hurt when he hits you. you know how sorry he is now? look at you. you're not even one bit sorry for letting this shit happen. Just look what you've done. You really made a fool out of every single one ."



Tai tai tan is a nick.

You know, i read the post you put up and i can't help but laugh.
because all along, all along even before these whole thing started. i've been talking to someone...

Her advice: stop being so giving. stop giving in to their demands and request because it's obvious they are stepping all over you already.

Whenever i'm threatened to be starved and to handle my own chores after work, when i've been forced to move out... she was the only one i talk to.
which is why the more i don't see a need to blog about these.
if i had to point out what EXACTLY happened, 1 or 2 post is definitely not enough. i don't need to tell the WHOLE WORLD what EXACTLY happened. because the ones who should know and have the rights to know what exactly happened aren't random blog readers, nor strangers...

Do you even blog in details, about your arguments with your partners / families/ friends on your blog?
Do you even talk about the problems you have back at home, in details, on your blog?

Anyhow, i don't need people to tell me what i should blog about.
cos once i start the story, more people will approach me in msn or in person for more details... as if this isn't obvious.


I have a 101 things to talk about your post.
like how she DID NOT tell me when she pawned the first bracelet, it is only much later when i wanted to put it on did i learn that it's been pawned. do i not have the rights to be pissed given such situation? if at the end of the day, we have no money for the pawn tickets, LL let go of the bracelet, if not what? the last time i talked to her about it, i asked when she has to renew the ticket and if she has enough. upon hearing it's in Sept and that she'll have enough, i kept quiet and walked off. if that to her is insisting she redeem it ASAP, great intepretion. i did volunteered to pawn my second bracelet but decided not to cos it hurts someone if in the end we have no money to get it back, i did not say to let go any of my bracelets.
like how i did not force her to pay the full amount but at least a little cos she knew that if no payment were made AT ALL, the line would be terminated. how rude is it to wake up to have your line terminated without notice. and for that particular month before the bills arrived, she was given an extra $300 for phone bills which was more than enough for my bills. all in all, that's $500 allowance plus grocery shoppping and misc. which makes me even more pissed...
like how i did not post the pictures up and went around to tell people what really happened to gain sympathy. for this i can say you don't know me at all cos i don't bother my friends with such stuffs. like how you say I WILL SAY filthy things in your face when i did not even do so to you, you're the one who did so and now you turn around and accuse me first. in case you don't remember, you said that in front of Travis and i when i was talking to her. like how i didn't even force you or Jean to return at every chance i get, i asked her when i didn't have enough, if that's force, fine. like how all he did that night was sit in the kitchen, but a lunatic just came around and pounce on him. like how the money i poured out on food, groceries and other misc when approached for more aren't real, they are virtual money, monopoly cash. like how i hate living under one roof with you cos you keep the lights on till late night, cos the naggings and arguements about the electricity bills hiking will repeat, cos i'd return home not being able to rest if you're watching dvd, cos there are chances of return home seeing your gf in bed and i don't know if i should wake her up to get her to sleep properly so that i won't have difficulties waking up the next morning.


If A and B doesn't work, i'll talk to C. if A and C doesn't work, i'll approach B. not like it's the first time...
so why is it at the end of the day, i'm always asking Mum why she wouldn't approach the second one since she's working and she'll be able to provide. each time, the same reason is given, SY don't even have enough for herself, all along she doesn't provide much for the family and even if she does, all is returned to her when she don't have enough and it makes no difference.
if her words can make such big impression of you to me, it's easy to tell what she'd go around and say about me. none of us knew the full story and we can't be bothered to after listening to one party's sorrows.
I'm not putting blames on Mum nor saying she's the one causing us both to not get along. but take some time to think and it's actually not that difficult to put the pieces together.


And no matter what, it gives him no reason to hit me like that. 'nuff said.